I have been trying to write this post for several days. Many of you, over 250 of you, have already read about this over on Facebook but because Cassie was responsible for the start of my Of Dogs and Writing posts, I wanted to write about her here on the blog at least one more time.
Last week, at the all-too-young age of 5, we had to make the difficult decision to put Cassie down. I will not go into reliving her many medical issues right now. All I will say is that her quality of life had fallen to such a low point that it was kinder, to her, to let her go. It is never an easy decision to make but I am firm in the belief that it was the right one. Still, that doesn’t mean the experience was easy. My husband and I have cried a lot of tears.
Cassie was a special dog, a heart dog. Even though I have had dogs all my life Cassie taught me how much I didn’t know about having, training, and living with a dog. And I loved every minute of it.
Cassie wasn’t that interested in other dogs. She was polite enough to wander over and say hello.
But she wasn’t interested in playing with them and couldn’t see much use in chasing them around the yard.
So she was an only dog. A spoiled, only dog who had her own Lazy Boy chair. It was good for presiding over the kingdom.
And it was good for napping.
Cassie took her naps very seriously. It was always a good time for a little shut-eye.
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Her favorite TV show was Pitbulls and Paroles and she would come into the library and hop in her chair whenever she heard Tia’s voice. She also loved anything with horses or chickens in it.
But she was terrified of the movie The Hurt Locker.
She was very smart.
And very brave.
And willing to try anything I asked of her when I said the words, “Trust me.”
She loved being up on things for the best view. Like guarding the patio.
On the chest guarding the library.
Keeping an eye on what’s happening in the kitchen.
Pretending to be invisible on the antique settee.
She didn’t even mind if getting up on things made her look silly.
Or got her dirty.
She was the official inspector of all boxes that came into the house.
She was also the home improvement building inspector.
She wasn’t very good at playing hide and go seek.
But she knew exactly which door held the leash, and which door hid the high value treats.
And she was sure the water features in the yard were just big doggy water fountains.
Her favorite toys were a giant orange gorilla and a little blue ball.
And her favorite place to be was in the garden.
In the garden is where I learned many of my life lessons and writing lessons from Cassie. It’s where she taught me to be still, to be in the moment. Which is why I am not going to grieve forever for Cassie, although there will always be a Cassie-sized hole in my heart. To grieve always is to allow yourself to be locked in the past. That’s not what Cassie wanted. That’s not how Cassie lived.
So we have opened the door of our hearts to a new rescue dog, a white German Shepherd named Zoey, who will have more lessons to teach me and more love to give me. We’ll pick Zoey up in just a few hours. And she will sleep in Cassie’s bed and play with Cassie’s toys and wander in Cassie’s garden. And she will bring me back to the here and now, in the moment. And I think that will make Cassie happy.
For those of you who have asked, donations in Cassie’s name can be made to the German Shepherd Rescue of Northern California which is where we adopted Cassie. As an all volunteer run non-profit, they can use all the help they can get.
Farewell my wonderful friend. You will be missed by many. Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for the love.
Cassie was a beautiful girl. I love the pictures of her lounging around.
Thank you, Jeanette! She was passionate about sleep!
I certainly feel your pain: http://bit.ly/XGBxR9
Thanks for sharing your pics and commemorating the life of a well-loved companion. Cassie was blessed to have you.
Thanks, June.
Thank you for this post. I felt like I just spent some time with Cassie. Time very well spent.
What a lucky, lucky girl Zoey is.
Thanks for taking the time to visit with my special girl. We feel pretty lucky with Zoey too.
What a lovely tribute to Cassie, Susan. What greater joy is there in life than to love and be loved? Thanks for sharing a bit of Cassie’s life in photos. What a delight she was!
Thank you, Trudi. The house was full of Cassie love, for sure.
Such a beautiful tribute to Cassie, Susan. She had such soulful eyes; you’ve captured her spirit and essence in your photos so well. Loved all your dogs and writing posts. Hope you continue them with Zoey. 🙂
Thanks, Jama. Yes, Cassie’s eyes really called to us. Now, when we do the inevitable, “Cassie did this on her first day and Zoey did this” we realize how rough a life Cassie must have had before she came to live with us. I’m glad we were able to give her some happy times.
I do plan to do more dogs and writing posts with Zoey. I can’t wait to see what she has to teach me.
This is lovely – touching, genuine and inspiring. Thank you for sharing Cassie’s love and lessons with us!
Thank you, Sam. Cassie taught me so much. I’m glad when I can share. I’m sure Zoey will teach me a lot too.
The correct link for GSD Rescue is http://www.savegsd.org/. Susan can’t fix the link in the blog quite yet as she is traveling to pick up Zoey.
Thanks for doing this for me, Jeanette!
Susan!
YOU know what a fan I am of Dogs and Writing!
So many lessons, such beautiful writing, so much love, a perfect muse.
xo
Thank you, Laura. I learned a lot from Cassie. I’m sure I will from Zoey, too!
This is just lovely. Cassie was so very lucky – and so are you. Y’all gave each other richer lives.
Thank you, Barbara. Cassie was made me feel like a very lucky person indeed.
What a lovely tribute to your Cassie love.
Thank you, Lisa.
Making me cry at 5:51am as I leave for work is unfair! But, come on, even considering the limitations of truly knowing a person through this medium… I should have expected at LEAST this from you!! xo Conveying words of sympathy often don’t seem to cover the emotion for me. So, instead, I will tell you that YOUR words along with Cassie’s beautiful pictures say it all. {{Big virtual hug}}}
Sorry for making you cry before you leave for work, Cari! Thank you for caring and cheering and worrying right along with me.
I didn’t know if I could stand this, but I savored every picture, even as I’m crying (writing this). I knew this was coming but you always hope there’ll be some miracle. The miracle, of course, it that they come into our lives at all and teach us how to be better humans.
I’m so glad Zoey is there. So many animals need rescuing. When we lost our first “cat child,” Alaric, I waited a week, then was at the pound for another cat, Xenia. Since then, our cats have shown up on the porch, saving me a trip.
Thank you for showing so many pictures of Cassie. She was a sweetheart.
Thank you for crying with me, Candice. I feel like it was such a gift to have Cassie with us, even though her life was short. And Zoey is another gift as well. My life is richer with dogs and dog lovers in it.
Cassie was a lucky dog to have you – and Zoey will be, too. I’m glad I got to meet Cassie, and hope I will get to meet Zoey someday. Hugs! So many hugs!
Thank you. We were lucky to have Cassie, too! And you WILL meet Zoey one day.
So sorry to hear of this loss, Susan. Cassie has many friends around the internet! Thank you for sharing her with us. May you find new adventures with Zoey.
Thank you, Jenn. I’ve been floored, in a good way, by the wonderful responses from people. Onward, with Zoey leading the charge.
So sorry to hear of your loss, Susan – she was a special (and beautiful) dog and I’m glad she got to share her treasured days with you. We’ve been through this, too, and you’re right – it doesn’t get easier. She was blessed to be your dog, and you all belonged to her, too, I know.
Thank you, Robyn. I know you know how hard all this is. I understand now why people have lots of dogs because the house was so empty until we brought Zoey home.
I feel so blessed to have had that time with Cassie, even if it was short.
I just noticed this. I’m so very sorry about Cassie. I feel I knew her over the years and I weep with you. I’m glad you found Zoey and will have a new faithful companion and muse.
Thank you, Barb. I am so happy that so many people feel like they knew Cassie. I hope you will all soon feel the same about Zoey.
She is a beautiful dog, in photos (how I’ve seen her) & in actions too. It is so hard to say goodbye, but you’ve also said hello too, a very nice thing.
Thank you so much, Linda. Hello, goodbye, I love you. We’ve been saying that a lot.
Susan
I don’t know you- I found the link in the daily email for those of us who volunteer at GSRNC. Wow- your blog was like a present and as I followed up to learn about you and read a synopsis from one of your books I knew the link was a gift. I am a family advocate specializing in mental health and a passionate GSD lover.
My heart hurts for your loss and also dances for your courage in choosing to fill the hole with another noble, courageous , devoted friend who will undoubtedly teach you as she in turn learns from you. Thank you for blessing the rest of us by sharing. May Christmas bring healing in the deep places.
Karen,
Thank you so much all the kind words. Books and stories can be such a healing gift to many people, often allowing us to communicate in ways that had seemed endlessly blocked. I feel if I can put a story into the hand of a child or young adult who can recognize themselves within it, that it might give them the courage to talk to someone like yourself about whatever is hurting in their life.
I will always hurt a little when I think of Cassie but I am so glad for the time we spent together and for our little Zoey who is bringing us a new chapter on love.
Hi Susan, I am GSRNC volunteer and have met Cassie on her many walks with your husband. I am so so sorry to hear of her passing and I will miss seeing her happy face on my morning walks. Thank you for giving Cassie and now Zoey a wonderful home. I sometimes think they rescue us more than us rescuing them.
Daya,
Thank you for the kind words. My husband has mentioned you and your beautiful dog from walking adventures. Cassie was a very special dog and we will always look back on our time together as something special. Zoey is fast becoming a very special dog in her own right.
Thank you for your volunteer work with GSRNC.
Susan,
My face is soaked with tears. I am so sorry for your loss. Cassie looks just like my girl Ruthie, also a GSRNC rescue. She is my heart. Your write so beautifuly about Cassie and I can feel how much she is loved. I know that your life with Zoey will be filled with much joy.
Thank you, Patricia, for reading and for your kind words.
Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve enjoyed your Cassie-inspired posts over the years and feel as if I knew her. She was a beautiful being, and I thank you for sharing the stories and photos so that we could experience some of the love you had for each other.
Welcome to Zoey, and may your adventures together expand your heart as much as those with Cassie.
Thanks, Tracy. I hope Zoey will inspire some new posts. But that Cassie, oh my, what a dog.
Susan,
What a beautiful tribute to your very special friend. My sweet Jack Black, a four year old Rottweiler/Lab mix had to be put down on July 4th and I miss him like crazy. Even though I still have his sister, Star. Hope you find much happiness with Zoey.
I am sorry that you, too, had to say goodbye to a special dog this year. Our hearts will feel the pain for some time, I am sure, though my new dog is trying to make things better.
I am so sorry that Cassie is gone. She meant a lot to you and to your readers.
Thank you for the kind thoughts. She was a very special dog.
Susan, you know Cassie is waiting for you just around the bend. Torch
Thanks, Torchy. I know but man oh man, do I miss that dog. Zoey is a new adventure though.
It’s such a tribute of love to your dog, Cassie. I’ve been there several times in my life with both dogs & cats, & each time was a challenge, but knowing that the pet was suffering did help, as I hear from you that Cassie was not well. Of course each time is different, & this time, Cassie was a pet that brought you much. I love the second picture of her, in her Lazy Boy. Gorgeous. I’m sorry to hear of this sad time for you. Have a great first week with this new pal arriving!
Thank you, Linda. (Sorry I missed this comment earlier.) It is so hard to let go of this precious animals but they give us so much that we have to do right by them. Cassie did love her Lazy Boy.