I am not connected to any piece of work, am feeling like I am just in limbo and not called to do anything writing related at all. Yes, the disciplined would say to sit down and just write, which I will likely do, eventually but the frustrating thing is still not feeling like I should write on any one thing. I am hearing no voices. My heart isn’t asking for more of anyone’s story. And I don’t, still, feel committed to a project. Sigh. So I unexpectedly decided to take some time off from work. Normally I wouldn’t do that unless I had a project to work on (or if we were going on a trip but we don’t go on trips). I took Thur/Fri and Mon/Tue off from the day job. Last night we went to go see Wicked (fabulous!). This morning I slept in till 10 (5 hours past my normal get up time) and even now I am just reading blogs and email and sipping my chai.
Goal for the day? Nothing. Goal for the time off. My office. See, I have a weird relation with my office and something must be done about it. We have been in this house a little over a year. My husband and I each have our own offices. He spends much of his evening time in his and me, I take the laptop out to the living room. I have an office filled with my children’s books and writing books. A desk. A big table for overflow. A closet for storing stuff and four four-drawer file cabinet. I have a comfy ergonomic writing chair and a ceiling fan to keep the air moving. So why can’t I work in there? I have no idea. We were in our last itty bitty place for 6 years and I had no choice but to write in the living room. There was no other room. (We tried sharing an office but it was way too small.) All I could think about when I was in that tiny place was how I couldn’t wait until I had, once again, an office of my own. Oh the things I would write, the dedication I would have, the words would pour out across the keyboard. Yeah right. Sigh.
It is filled with things I love and yet I find 101 reasons not to write in there. Okay, one sort of biggie is the desk. It still isn’t right. I found a great smallish desk to hold my laptop with a tray for the keyboard and my roller mouse set-up (great ergo find). I have my laptop and can plug it into a bigger keyboard which is better ergonomically for my shoulder. But the tray that came with the desk, like all desks, was too high. I’m short. 5′ tall. I need, again for ergonomic reasons, to have the tray set at the right height for me. I can raise the chair but then my feet don’t touch the floor and it doesn’t work to put something under my feet. No problem. We got an adjustable keyboard tray and cut the mounting bar to fit on the desk. Ooops. One measurement we didn’t take is how far under the desk the tray would slide. Turns out to be only partway which means I can’t sit at the desk and use it for anything because the tray pokes me in the stomach and I can’t reach the desktop. Sigh. But we are working on that problem. There is still the bigger issue of why I can’t work in that room. So with this time off I am going to try to figure out how to make it mine. I am burning lots of candles, white sage, to cleanse the room of negative energy. (The dog doesn’t even go in that room for some reason.) And I am paring down the excess in the file cabinets, throwing things away so that much of the stuff crammed under the table can go into the cabinets and perhaps give me a cleaner feel for space that is mine?
Other than that, I am at a loss as to what to do to make myself work in there. All pieces of advice, no matter how wacky, greatly appreciated.
I think I spent six months or so getting at the point of committing to the current project. I poked at … oh, four or five different novels, writing a few pages, until I got to a point where I didn’t wanna, then poking at another, then back to the first, on and on.
Sometimes it just takes time.
Looking back, I wish I’d let myself take more time off instead of stressing it, but then again, maybe all that poking was needed to get to that point of connection.
Yeah, I’m sure the poking around time is needed but man, it’s hard, isn’t it? I was talking with some other writer friends and we decided we all do pretty much the same thing, dance around something new and are sure that every other writer is filled with confidence about what to do next.
What I am finding interesting is more and more connections of pieces of what I thought were different books that may turn out to be part of the same one. My mission, should I choose to accept it.
I think I spent six months or so getting at the point of committing to the current project. I poked at … oh, four or five different novels, writing a few pages, until I got to a point where I didn’t wanna, then poking at another, then back to the first, on and on.
Sometimes it just takes time.
Looking back, I wish I’d let myself take more time off instead of stressing it, but then again, maybe all that poking was needed to get to that point of connection.
Yeah, I’m sure the poking around time is needed but man, it’s hard, isn’t it? I was talking with some other writer friends and we decided we all do pretty much the same thing, dance around something new and are sure that every other writer is filled with confidence about what to do next.
What I am finding interesting is more and more connections of pieces of what I thought were different books that may turn out to be part of the same one. My mission, should I choose to accept it.
You’re 5′ tall?!
*makes note not to wear heels to NYMB*
I’m 5’8″.
The office thing: yeah, I have a beautiful purple wall (for creativity) and lots of books and a window and adequate lighting and (finally) a decent chair to sit in, and what do I do?
Schlep my laptop out to the dining room table.
Hahaha. Wear the heels. One of my best friends is 5’11. I’m used to staring at her chest. I just wish I was one of those cute, little petite 5 footers who looks like a pixie. Also I am too round to ever be considered pixie-like. I tell people I am NOT overweight I am just undertall.
The office thing. Thanks. I feel better knowing I am not alone. Two file drawers empty. At least I will have a place to hide more of my clutter.
You’re 5′ tall?!
*makes note not to wear heels to NYMB*
I’m 5’8″.
The office thing: yeah, I have a beautiful purple wall (for creativity) and lots of books and a window and adequate lighting and (finally) a decent chair to sit in, and what do I do?
Schlep my laptop out to the dining room table.
Hahaha. Wear the heels. One of my best friends is 5’11. I’m used to staring at her chest. I just wish I was one of those cute, little petite 5 footers who looks like a pixie. Also I am too round to ever be considered pixie-like. I tell people I am NOT overweight I am just undertall.
The office thing. Thanks. I feel better knowing I am not alone. Two file drawers empty. At least I will have a place to hide more of my clutter.
HEY! We’re the same height!
It sounds like you have a beautiful office. I hope you find a way to get yourself motivated to use it! My husband is our office hog. I don’t like to work there, so it’s fine. I have a desk in our bedroom, and I like it a lot.
For me, it’s all about working where there’s sunlight. LOTS of it. Now at night, it’s not an issue. Then, I need space to spread my junk out, make a huge mess. AND, I’ve learned I need to play music. Right now, I’m hooked on the digital music channels on cable–the HIT LIST channel.
Um…I work on either the dining room table or the “game” table in our family room. But, that’s about working where I can interact with the kids during the day…not so much a working issue.
Maybe what you’re really telling yourself is that you’re not really inspired to work right now or that you need to take some time off to enjoy a hobby that has nothing to do with writing.
That’s all the thoughts I have on this at the moment. I hope you had an enjoyable day!
We may be the same height but methinks you are more the pixie type though. Grin.
Sunlight is good. I’m facing the window which is bad feng shui but I have to figure out how to work with it because there is no other place to put the desk. I think it’s that damn keyboard tray that has me bugged. I’m going to see if my husband can find another one this weekend.
HEY! We’re the same height!
It sounds like you have a beautiful office. I hope you find a way to get yourself motivated to use it! My husband is our office hog. I don’t like to work there, so it’s fine. I have a desk in our bedroom, and I like it a lot.
For me, it’s all about working where there’s sunlight. LOTS of it. Now at night, it’s not an issue. Then, I need space to spread my junk out, make a huge mess. AND, I’ve learned I need to play music. Right now, I’m hooked on the digital music channels on cable–the HIT LIST channel.
Um…I work on either the dining room table or the “game” table in our family room. But, that’s about working where I can interact with the kids during the day…not so much a working issue.
Maybe what you’re really telling yourself is that you’re not really inspired to work right now or that you need to take some time off to enjoy a hobby that has nothing to do with writing.
That’s all the thoughts I have on this at the moment. I hope you had an enjoyable day!
We may be the same height but methinks you are more the pixie type though. Grin.
Sunlight is good. I’m facing the window which is bad feng shui but I have to figure out how to work with it because there is no other place to put the desk. I think it’s that damn keyboard tray that has me bugged. I’m going to see if my husband can find another one this weekend.
This sounds like a job for feng shui. What does your desk face? Do you keep your back to the door? If so, put a mirror so you can see the door. If your back is to a window, try to turn the desk so you can see out it — all that possibility of folks sneaking up on you will make you forever uncomfortable in there. And that’s just the bare minimum. But getting rid of some clutter is definitely a good start, even in feng shui-land!
Yes, indeed, I face the window so I can watch the birds and the squirrels and my back is to the door. It’s the same problem at work. They set up the stupid cubicles with our backs to the opening and I HATE it. Hmm…maybe my home office is reminding me too much of work. That’s enough to make me gag.
I’ve been throwing files away like crazy. It’s so unlike me. Usually I have to read each piece of paper but I am telling myself that this first run through I can throw out anything I can find online and let myself leave a few folders without having to rationalize them. We’ll see. Breaktime is over. Back to work.
This sounds like a job for feng shui. What does your desk face? Do you keep your back to the door? If so, put a mirror so you can see the door. If your back is to a window, try to turn the desk so you can see out it — all that possibility of folks sneaking up on you will make you forever uncomfortable in there. And that’s just the bare minimum. But getting rid of some clutter is definitely a good start, even in feng shui-land!
Yes, indeed, I face the window so I can watch the birds and the squirrels and my back is to the door. It’s the same problem at work. They set up the stupid cubicles with our backs to the opening and I HATE it. Hmm…maybe my home office is reminding me too much of work. That’s enough to make me gag.
I’ve been throwing files away like crazy. It’s so unlike me. Usually I have to read each piece of paper but I am telling myself that this first run through I can throw out anything I can find online and let myself leave a few folders without having to rationalize them. We’ll see. Breaktime is over. Back to work.
Hey, Sus!
I have a suggestion, and oddly, my situation is similar, in that I am short (5’1), suffer from extreme carpal tunnel/arthritis so I have to use a natural keyboard, right height all that jazz. And really, it is rare that my feet touch the floor and almost never flat, so I feel ya sistah.
My suggestion: we just moved from a tiny duplex where I had my desk almost touching the bed, and ever other bit of space filled, to a fairly large house where the study is totally open. As in you walk into the tiled entryway, step down, and you are in the study. Hall with bedrooms is to the right of the entryway. Kitchen and living room are to the left. Slider to the patio and backyard is a straight shot from the study. (Am I long-winded today or what?) My old desk was neat but busy, lots of icons, as Madeleing L’Engle would say. I found when we set the desks, printers etc. up here, that I could NOT stand to have anything but my wip notes, relevant research and references on my desk. No nicknacks, pen holders, Homies, pictures, nothing! On the top of the whatever-its-called that has cubbies and a hinged door and sits over the monitor on the desktop, I have the wireless router, a vase for fresh flowers and a bowl for floating candles. That’s it. I loved the things around me, previously, and had no trouble working in that environment. But now, I need space, and clarity, and balance. And nothing even close to my chair but the dogs! Hope that helps! (I’m a chai drinker, too, btw)
You may be right in that my process has changed. When my kids were little I could write in the middle of chaos. As they got older I could write to music. Now I need quiet. Lots of quiet. I might need more quiet space too.
But what will I do with all my stuff? Whine.
Maybe after I clean out and put away I’ll try putting all the knick-knacks in a box for a month or so and see what happens..
Hey, Sus!
I have a suggestion, and oddly, my situation is similar, in that I am short (5’1), suffer from extreme carpal tunnel/arthritis so I have to use a natural keyboard, right height all that jazz. And really, it is rare that my feet touch the floor and almost never flat, so I feel ya sistah.
My suggestion: we just moved from a tiny duplex where I had my desk almost touching the bed, and ever other bit of space filled, to a fairly large house where the study is totally open. As in you walk into the tiled entryway, step down, and you are in the study. Hall with bedrooms is to the right of the entryway. Kitchen and living room are to the left. Slider to the patio and backyard is a straight shot from the study. (Am I long-winded today or what?) My old desk was neat but busy, lots of icons, as Madeleing L’Engle would say. I found when we set the desks, printers etc. up here, that I could NOT stand to have anything but my wip notes, relevant research and references on my desk. No nicknacks, pen holders, Homies, pictures, nothing! On the top of the whatever-its-called that has cubbies and a hinged door and sits over the monitor on the desktop, I have the wireless router, a vase for fresh flowers and a bowl for floating candles. That’s it. I loved the things around me, previously, and had no trouble working in that environment. But now, I need space, and clarity, and balance. And nothing even close to my chair but the dogs! Hope that helps! (I’m a chai drinker, too, btw)
You may be right in that my process has changed. When my kids were little I could write in the middle of chaos. As they got older I could write to music. Now I need quiet. Lots of quiet. I might need more quiet space too.
But what will I do with all my stuff? Whine.
Maybe after I clean out and put away I’ll try putting all the knick-knacks in a box for a month or so and see what happens..
Put the stereo (with THE BEATLES on!–yeah! yeah! yeah!) in the studio/office…maybe then you’ll go there and work.
(hey, you said however wacky)
Or just resign yourself to livingroom office…what’s wrong with that? You got Beatles!
Put the stereo (with THE BEATLES on!–yeah! yeah! yeah!) in the studio/office…maybe then you’ll go there and work.
(hey, you said however wacky)
Or just resign yourself to livingroom office…what’s wrong with that? You got Beatles!