Well maybe a few.

There should be more.

Four days off from work and my brain should be full of words, of ideas for the plot, of things to research to help bring the story into place, of a single voice of a single character. I should be ramping up the obsession with Boone and his world.

But I am not.

I made a choice to do some work-for-hire projects. It was a decision based completely on the money factor. You know, that great big reason that so many of else claim not to write for but hey sometimes money validates things faster than anything else. Which means until the 1st of July I am consumed with only ESL projects. And I mean CONSUMED because the deadline is insane and I have the day job as well but I said yes. And I said yes because of the money. Yes, I said the dirty word. Money.

I struggle with the idea of writing “just for the money” and yet I continue to do it. I work a day job for the money why should I feel so out of whack sometimes about writing for money instead of purely for story?

Insecurity I am sure is at the base of it.

For some reason I still can’t accept the odd path to being a writer that I have taken. 

It would be easier on me if I could.