Welcome to another installment of Write After Reading: Writing the Life Poetic, a weekly online book club with poetry participation. It alternates between my blog and Laura’s blog. Last week, over at Laura’s blog, we talked about chapter 43 and played with another Mad Lib sort of exercise. Today I picked chapter 48, Writing Poems From Titles.
There’s not a lot to read here because the fun is all in the writing. 🙂 The chapter talks about how titles for poems can come before the poem is written, after it is written, or changed somewhere in-between. But for this exercise she gives what she calls a book of matches with a list of titles of poems by mostly contemporary poets. The idea is to write a poem based just on the title (hopefully a poem you don’t know) and then go find the original and see how it compares. She gives a list of 33 poems. For those of you who don’t have a copy of the book, I’ll post a few of the titles for you.
But before that, I’d like to talk a bit more about titles for poems and how you perhaps come up with your titles. I almost always title my poems after they are written when I am pretty sure I have reached the point I was trying to make with the poem. Though there have been a few where I got the title and it just spoke to me and I had to write a poem to live up to the title. I’m not sure how I feel about poems where the title is actually the first line in the poem. Quite often it confuses me. I read the title and I set it apart in my mind. Then I read the first line and I’m confused and my brain has to process that method the poet is using and I have to go back and start over. It all happens very fast but sometimes it can be distracting to me. The exception (for me) is usually when it is a verse novel and the author is using the same pattern throughout the book. My brain gets used to it and it seems less distracting.
So what about you? When do you title your poems? Do you use a line from the poem? How do you know when you have the right title for a poem? (For me it’s all about going with my gut.)
I’ll post some of titles for folks now and will be back later to add my poem in the comments.
The Zero at the Bone (Karen Holmberg)
The Partial Explanation (Charles Simic)
Good People (WS Merwin)
What the Angels Left (Marie Howe)
Give the Drummer Some (Christopher Luna)
Key to the Highway (Mark Halliday)
Ladies and Gentlement in Outer Space (Ron Padgett)
The Blue Bowl (Jane Kenyon)
Okay, here’s my poem. I picked the title last night and was really expecting to write a softish poem perhaps based in nature. What came out is something completely different. I have to say that this one surprised me in a way that a poem hadn’t surprised me in a long time.
How to Listen
Put down that stinky cigarette,
the one you promised to stop smoking.
Quit fiddling with the piano
and no, you don’t need another drink.
You never need another drink.
Pretend if you have to
you’re at work,
inspection time,
uniform neatly pressed,
just like all those lies you told me.
Eyes straight ahead.
Must. Not. Move.
Look at me, no, really look at me
in the eyes, those windows to my soul
you tried to crush.
I know I’m angry.
I want you to know it too.
I want you to hear what I’m saying
with my entire body.
I may not get this brave again.
Don’t look down
or away with that
“you just kicked a puppy” expression on your face.
It doesn’t work any more.
Focus on me,
the way you used to focus on me,
before vodka became your lover.
That pause between words
isn’t an invitation for you to interrupt and tell me
how the world is against you.
I don’t care.
Not anymore.
You don’t have to listen long.
Just long enough
for me to say goodbye.
© 2011 Susan Taylor Brown.
All rights reserved.
The original poem is How to Listen by Major Jackson and you can read it here:
http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/172.html
Titles. Oi.
I usually come up with my titles after writing the poem. I try not to use a phrase directly from the poem, usually. Not because it’s a bad thing but because I tend to do it out of laziness rather than a feeling that that phrase captures the heart of the poem. I’m also guilty of a lot of boring titles like The __________ (insert just about any noun there).
I think I avoid working on titles because I feel like I’m bad at it. This is something I need to work on, because when I DO work on it, my titles at least improve. They might not be magical, but they’re better. So there’s just no excuse.
Here’s a column I wrote for my site about titling your poems:
http://www.laurasalas.com/poetry/poetic%20pursuits/0712ttl1.html
I’m going to write a brief poem to one of the titles now. Should be fun!
I love coming up with the perfect title but it isn’t easy and sometimes they never quite come. This goes for novels too. And I feel disconnected from the project until I have what I feel is the perfect title.
I am guilty of the boring titles too.
I often think of titles as capturing the essence of the poetic moment and that’s not any easier than writing the poem in the first place.
Thanks for the link to your article. I’ll go give it a read.
That’s hard about the disconnection piece…The title for me is for the reader, not for me, so it doesn’t give me that issue. I wonder if there’s something else you could replace the title with to connect to your wip. Like if you could find an image that captures the heart of the project–or better yet, create a collage!
So far I haven’t been able to make the visual connection work for me when it comes to a book. I am collecting collage bits for a couple of WIP but still, without a title to call it forth it doesn’t feel quite ready to write. And perhaps that’s my subconscious telling me I’m not ready yet.
I know that this exercise, writing the poem I did with the title I chose, there’s no way I’d go back and change the title. It’s perfect for it.
Laura’s Poem — The Zero at the Bone
OK, I’m back!
The Zero at the Bone
There is no grey area here
Not even black and white
Only truth
Lies have been
Scalpeled, scapulaed, shaved
Away, buried until
Cloud-white bone
Fills the sky of your eyes
Only truth
Rolls out of our mouths
In these last moments
Only truth
Shaking like thunderclouds
Falling like raintears
Only truth as the
Drum beats more
Slowly and
More slowly
Still
Until the beat stops
Until even
Truth
Stops
Time
Stops
And you are gone
–Laura Purdie Salas
OK, you know what I loved about this? Because I went into it blind, I didn’t have any story, so I was more open to writing a bit less literally than I usually do. I actually loved this exercise. Off to hunt down the real poem now:>)
Thanks, susan!
Re: Laura’s Poem — The Zero at the Bone
This is terrific, Laura. The shape of it feels like a rain cloud or a tornado or even raindrops.
I love these stanzas best:
Lies have been
Scalpeled, scapulaed, shaved
Away, buried until
Cloud-white bone
Fills the sky of your eyes
Only truth
Shaking like thunderclouds
Falling like raintears
It was a really fun exercise. I might have to try another one.
Re: Laura’s Poem — The Zero at the Bone
Thanks, Susan. I liked the sky of your eyes part–even though I had no idea what it meant as I wrote it. I don’t usually write without literal meaning. Very different for me.
Re: Laura’s Poem — The Zero at the Bone
Wow Laura…I’m not sure what you were intending with this poem, but for me it represented the last moments before death between two people who have struggled within their relationship….deeeeep! I loved all the stanzas and most especially the last ones where I got the feeling of everything slowing down until….there was no more. Nicely done!
Re: Laura’s Poem — The Zero at the Bone
Thanks, Marianne! That’s not what I planned to write about, which was more about just an honest conversation, but then it did morph into a death scene. I was thinking about a couple, with one dying, and of the everyday banalities and white lies that we strip away at the end (or sooner, if we’re lucky) more than any particular deep struggles, but I definitely knew it would come across as the latter to many people. I actually had fun with knowing different people would interpret it through their lens of what they’ve seen or experienced in life…which I don’t usually do:>)
Re: Laura’s Poem — The Zero at the Bone
I love this, Laura. The way it slows until there is nothing left. Lovely.
Re: Laura’s Poem — The Zero at the Bone
Thanks so much, Dori! I’m loving this poetry book club. Writing poems I wouldn’t be otherwise:>)
Oh my!
Karen Holmberg had an entirely different bone in mind;>)
Re: Oh my!
Hahaha…I haven’t been able to find hers. You’ll have to send me the link.
Re: Oh my!
http://books.google.com/books?id=EzVAhFcMaewC&pg=PA55&lpg=PA55&dq=poem+%22the+zero+at+the+bone%22+karen+holmberg&source=bl&ots=VxHjVt3tRh&sig=VGrvZ53iruquKZPv-WaIP-CWfdQ&hl=en&ei=JonmTbzfE4LpgQfXnK3pCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CCgQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q&f=false
:>)
Re: Oh my!
Oh my indeed!
Re: Oh my!
Double Oh my!!!
Re: Oh my!
:>)
Re: Oh my!
Make that a triple!
RE: Titles
I don’t write poetry so I can’t directly respond, but I do have similar issues with titles for my stories. Sometimes I get a title first and love it and then create a story from me, and other times the title comes very last (or from a good friend/writing partner).
btw – when we lunched last, you mentioned a poetry exercise that I found intriguing but now i can’t recall it. Can you help me? 😉
Hey Debbi, I think this is the one I was talking about, it was at Laura’s blog last week:
http://laurasalas.livejournal.com/276727.html If that wasn’t it I’ll have to ponder it some more.
For novels I REALLY prefer to have the title first. I hate waiting for it because I feel no connection to the story without the title.
Okay, here’s my poem. I picked the title last night and was really expecting to write a softish poem perhaps based in nature. What came out is something completely different.
How to Listen
Put down that stinky cigarette,
the one you promised to stop smoking.
Quit fiddling with the piano
and no, you don’t need another drink.
You never need another drink.
Pretend if you have to
you’re at work,
inspection time,
uniform neatly pressed,
just like all those lies you told me.
Eyes straight ahead.
Must. Not. Move.
Look at me, no, really look at me
in the eyes, those windows to my soul
you tried to crush.
I know I’m angry.
I want you to know it too.
I want you to hear what I’m saying
with my entire body.
I may not get this brave again.
Don’t look down
or away with that
“you just kicked a puppy” expression on your face.
It doesn’t work any more.
Focus on me,
the way you used to focus on me,
before vodka became your lover.
That pause between words
isn’t an invitation for you to interrupt and tell me
how the world is against you.
I don’t care.
Not anymore.
You don’t have to listen long.
Just long enough
for me to say goodbye.
© 2011 Susan Taylor Brown.
All rights reserved.
The original poem is How to Listen by Major Jackson and you can read it here:
http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/172.html
Wow, you struck gold this week, Susan!
Focus on me,
the way you used to focus on me,
before vodka became your lover.
AND
You don’t have to listen long.
Just long enough
for me to say goodbye.
are my favorite two stanzas. They really pack a major punch. I was really rooting for the narrator to find her voice, stay strong…loved this!
Thanks, Laura. This just surprised the heck out of me. Based, alas, on real life.
Wow, Susan. This was pretty amazing. I agree with Laura. These two are my favorite stanzas also. Love…Just long enough
Thanks, Dori. You know how it goes – sometimes the words just flow. 🙂
wow. just, wow.
Thank you.
Susan, what a lovely poem…I can tell it’s from the heart. I loved the last stanza…it shows such strength.
Thank you, Marianne.
I believe a good title can add meaning to a poem or story by summarizing or adding additional insight. Also, titles can invite readers by way of explanation. For example: Death, Young Death, Death of a Rose, etc. Expectations of what the poem might be about vary with these titles.
As for haiku, I’ve read that if they need a title, then the haiku is not properly done. Full meaning should be achieved without a title.
My least favorite title is a line of the poem because I want something more from the words that introduce it. And yet, here’s my poem, and the title became the first line. Before you read on, I admit my poem is not very poetic. Actually not at all poetic as yours both beautifully were. I love speculative poetry, which we could call this by subject matter, but not really style. My favorite speculative poems speak to the Sci-Fi nut in me AND are poetic.
Rushing just now. Later I’ve got to go see what this poem was really about. What a fun exercise!
Ladies and Gentlemen of Space
Ladies and Gentlemen
of Space
Greetings from the people
of Earth –
third planet circling Sol.
Transmission of our invitation
to the Galactic Gala
has not yet been received.
With the event
only two light years away,
please confirm Earth’s invitation
at the earliest convenience
of the Intergalactic
Planning Committee.
Please disregard
if our messages
crossed in hyperspace.
Sincerely,
The People of Earth
Transmission over.
-ellie
That’s fun, Ellie! Very imaginative. I didn’t know those kinds of poems were called “speculative poetry,” but I guess I have been writing those myself!
Tabatha
Thank you so much, Tabatha. If you’re interested in publishing your speculative/sci-fi poems, here’s a link to the market page of the Science Fiction Poetry Association.
http://www.sfpoetry.com/markets.html
ellie
Thank you very much, Tabatha. I tried to post this already, but it seems to have disappeared. I wanted to share the link to the Science Fiction Poetry Association’s market page in case you have speculative poems that you would like to publish.
http://www.sfpoetry.com/markets.html
ellie
Thank you, Tabatha. I’m so glad you liked it. This is my third attempt to post a reply to you. I will leave off the link this time and see if I have better luck.
If you are interested in publishing your speculative poems, you could check out the Science Fiction Poetry Association’s market page.
ellie
What a fun poem. And I agreed with someone down below who felt it was poetic. I did, too. I loved that I was expecting “cyberspace” was where the messages crossed, but it was “hyperspace” instead.
Ellie,
Don’t worry about getting the title slightly off. I think it all still works. 🙂
Your poems always create pictures in my mind. I love that!
I liked:
Transmission of our invitation
to the Galactic Gala
has not yet been received.
and have been trying to picture what that invitation might look like. Ha!
Also liked:
Please disregard
if our messages
crossed in hyperspace.
You could do a series of speculative poems all around that Galactic Gala.
Thank you for your kind comments, Susan, especially:
“Your poems always create pictures in my mind.”
I think I will play with this one some more. A Galactic Gala does sound fun. 🙂
ellie
ellie,
I think you’re right that the title for a poem sets up expectations and that’s something for the writer to keep in mind when they choose a title. You can somewhat point the read in a particular direction based on the title alone.
And interesting point on the haiku. I can see that, perhaps agree with it, though sometimes there is fun in putting a title on one and getting that extra “free space” to say something more. But that probably proves the point that haiku may not have been written correctly. 🙂
Oh, I love this, Ellie! So funny! I love that it’s speculative, and yet because we’ve all received these kinds of form letters, it instantly feels very familiar.
I especially love
With the event
only two light years away,
Ha!
and
at the earliest convenience
of the Intergalactic
Planning Committee.
made me think of a PTA/PTO event or something.
This is just too funny!
I don’t think there’s such a thing as poetic. Lyrical, yes. But I think your poem is every bit as poetic in the poemlike sense as mine or Susan’s. Just a different kind of poem–funny and hip–rather than emotional. I tend to like that better and have been surprised that more emotion-based poems have been springing from my keyboard the past few weeks!
Interesting about haiku. I know they’re not usually titled, but I have to say it’s the one thing I DON’T like about haiku. With any one individual haiku, the lack of title doesn’t bother me. But in a collection, I want a way to distinguish them, order them, talk about them. At that point, I always wish they had titles. I know I can just use the first lines, but it’s not the same:>)
–Laura
Laura, I never thought about that about haiku in a collection. Makes sense. Even if they had numbers that would help.
Ellie, I agree what a fun poem and BTW I do find it poetic….I love it when a poem emits from me an emotion in the reading without me having to try and figure out what it means to me…your poem made me smile and I loved the stanza saying the event was only two light years away…and please disregard if our messages crossed in hyperspace.
Marianne,
I so agree with this line of yours:
“I love it when a poem emits from me an emotion in the reading without me having to try and figure out what it means to me.”
That’s what I get for rushing. Got the title wrong (not the meaning, definitely the wording). My face is red in case you can’t see it.
So now I have read the poem that goes with this title, an interesting poem, but I am left puzzling how the poet came up with the title.
Hmmm. On to other things.
Laura and Susan, to me, this exercise really let your talent shine, when you were free to create from title down without a form to follow.
Laura, from yours I love this verse and the use of “rolls” as if one is not in control, perhaps.
Only truth
Rolls out of our mouths
In these last moments
Also love “raintears” and how your ending slows, slows until your last four syllable sentence, so short and final.
And Susan, I love the anger, rage and foot stomping of LISTEN TO ME, a pet peeve of mine.
Your introduction floods us with bad habits, and wonder as to why “You never need another drink.”
Love this:
That pause between words
isn’t an invitation for you to interrupt and tell me
how the world is against you.
I don’t care.
Not anymore.
so much rides on “Not anymore.” Great ending.
I love how both of you flooded your poems with emotion: one anger, and one more sorrow or resignation. Wow!
ellie
Ellie,
I just read the poem that goes with your title (http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/117.html) and I’m with you…I have no idea where the title came from. I don’t “get” that poem at all.
Thanks for the kind words on my poem. This prompt really ignited for me.
Thanks, ellie! Who cares that you got the title wrong? You got the poem right, and that’s what counts!
Okay, I like kid poetry- so mine is kid oriented. And this is what I came up with.
The Sun Never Says
Dark clouds hang there
up in the air.
Does that mean it will rain?
The sun’s there, too,
in sky that’s blue.
Will somebody explain
what kind of weather
brings both together?
But I just ask in vain.
Cindyb
I’m sure it isn’t anything like the original!
Well, I looked it up, and they are both short! I like the original- I understand it!
🙂 Cindyb
I like your poem, Cindy, especially the line
“will somebody explain” because really, don’t we all want someone to explain the weather to us sometimes? 🙂
I like (and understand) the original too. 🙂
I love the way you’ve set up your rhyme, Cindyb. So easy to read this over and over. And no, the sun never says, like why my area is in such a drought.
ellie
Really fun poem, Cindyb. And, interestingly, I think the title really adds another layer to your poem, so that’s perfect. I just really like the idea of the Sun up there, knowing what’s going on, but her lips are sealed. She just leaves the child wondering–and there’s nothing wrong with that:>)
Laura
Cindy, I like your poem and I think kids would love it too because they are always asking questions and this poem would feed into their curiosity…the title fits it perfectly…
I love the rhyme scheme on this. And the play on weather vane in the last stanza. Nice.
Hope I’m not too late to join in…when it comes to titles they usually just pop into my head and then I write something to match it, and usually the title is not in my poem. Then there are the times when I write something and I am in search of a title and that is often a real struggle for me because I want it to have meaning without using a line from the poem.
Unless it’s a repeated line in a poem then I will sometimes use that line.
I have chosen the title What the Angels Left…haven’t read the original yet.
What The Angels Left
feathers float
upon the clouds,
torrential tears
puddle the ground,
soothing souls
in wing-wrapped hugs
Angels appear
when in need.
tingling thoughts
sprinkle the day,
smiling steps
smooth the way,
grateful gifts
enter the heart
Angels leave
til next in need.
First off, not too late at all! We’re happy to keep the conversation going all the way until next Wednesday (or more, if people pop in later). It often takes folks a couple of days to get to the exercise, and that’s no problem at all!
Marianne, this is simply beautiful. I think you did a great job with this. I love the images of angels shedding feathers that float around the clouds, of angels crying rain…that first half is so sensory!
And then I really enjoyed the idea that they comfort a person and then disappear, but with the lovely ending that they’ll be there the next time you need them. Delicious!
I am so intrigued that you often think of the title first! Do you jot down title ideas and keep them somewhere? Or do you only use the title if you write a poem to it fairly immediately?
Ditto what Laura said about it not being too late. I love the way people come and go as it works for them.
I’m curious too, if you keep a list of titles. I’ve been pondering that idea.
I love your poem. It’s very visual which always gets me excited about a poem when the words begin to paint pictures in my mind.
I love the circular journey it takes.
My favorite lines are the first two stanzas.
feathers float
upon the clouds,
torrential tears
puddle the ground,
Ladies, I don’t keep a file of titles, but that would be a great idea…maybe I didn’t explain myself…when I sit down to write a poem, just because I want to, it’s the title that often comes to me first, and then I write the poem…but I think I should brainstorm and keep a file of titles :>)
Also I am so glad you both enjoyed my poem…I love writing poems that just seem to come to me without a whole lot of thought…this was a fun exercise…thank you.
I love the airiness in this poem. Like white space on a page. Lots of it. Very nice.
Thank you…I like that you noticed the airiness of it.
That’s a good point, Dori, the use of white space here is great!
Re: ellie
Ellie, thanks for your comments on my poem…I find that when I’m presented with a picture (like in Laura’s 15 WOL) if I can put myself into an emotional space that matches or triggers with the picture then words just seem to flow and I do little to no tweaking….I love that feeling because that when a poem feels right to me…if I ever were to submit those poems I would probably tweak them and make them longer. The same thing happens when I am given words or, like this exercise a title then words just flow…but that only happens with short poems. If the poems need to be longer then I find that takes much more work!!!
As you can tell, I think few of us feel strong with titles. Mine feel very boring to me, usually. I’d almost rather have a title that I struggle to find a connection to the poem with (which was someone’s complaint about one of these original poems we borrowed a title from) than be so boring. And really it’s laziness on my part. Ugh. Hate admitting that:>)
Finally getting to the poem. I’m not especially pleased with it, but I’m determined to come to the party. No matter how late. And I haven’t looked this one up to see the original yet.
Give the Drummer Some
Credit
for the foot-tapping
hand-slapping
belly-laughing
stomp
Give him
a plexi-glass cage,
a towel wad to stuff in the bass
to damp the vibrating vertebrae
Give him cudos
for the corners of tissues
torn and rolled
into tight rounds
stuffed in each ear
to save the thin snare head
from wicked waves of sound.
Give Dori Some
credit for a very cool poem:>)
So glad you came to the party with your poetry hostess gift! And you’re not late at all. This is just an ongoing discussion, and it can take a few days to digest and respond to the chapter–that’s no problem.
First, I love how you used the title. That’s awesome. I was intrigued by that title, too, but I couldn’t figure out where to go with it. I love how you’re praising the drummer and his drummer routines. I also really like how you start big, with what the drummer is creating in the whole room or party or whatever, and then you go smaller with what’s right around the drummer and his little cage, and then smaller still, to the drummer’s body. Awesome structure.
My favorite lines are
to damp the vibrating vertebrae
and
to save the thin snare head
from wicked waves of sound.
You achieved some really terrific moments in this poem, Dori.
I was thinking, just throwing this out there, that coming back to that title at the ending somehow might be a fun way to bring it full circle (and what a nice shape for a drumming poem)…
Way to go!
Re: Give Dori Some
What Laura said and then some. Wow!
I love
the foot-tapping
hand-slapping
belly-laughing
stomp
and
to save the thin snare head
from wicked waves of sound.
the best but the entire poem is great.
I think this is a beautiful example of creating a picture within your poem because I have a very vivid image of this drummer in my mind.
I see Laura’s point about coming back to the title and that might be a fun thing to play with. I could also see one more stanza that started with “give him” to get that count of three in there.
But I really like this a lot. Well done!
Re: Give Dori Some
Thanks, Susan. I’m glad the image was vivid. I really like drummers. Actually took lessons for a short while, as an adult. Yikes. Anyway, when I get to heaven, I want to play the drums.
Re: Give Dori Some
Thanks Laura. When I think of using the first line of the poem as the title, this is what I do. I’ve done it in several poems and it works quite well for me. The first line actually becomes the title and is no longer the first line. I suppose it wouldn’t work on a very structured poem, but for the free ones, I like this tactic quite well.
It’s always interesting to see how someone else “sees” your poem. I was struggling with the connection from the first stanza to the last. Perhaps because in my mind the torn tissues were in the listener’s ears. Mine to be exact. Happens often. So my brain was a bit stuck in that mode and I just put the stanza in there anyway. So I’m glad there was some connection for you as a reader.
Yes, I do think I’ll go back and find a way to circle round to that title again. I like that.
Re: Give Dori Some
Ooooh! I at first took it to literally be a drum head but couldn’t figure out how that would work, so then I assumed it was the drummer trying to save his own ears from damage (though no drummer I’ve met would do that).
It is always fun to see how other people interpret, isn’t it? I’m always fascinated by what I thought I made clear but didn’t. Or, even better, what I wrote with one meaning but someone else finds different meaning…and it works!