BLOODLINES
From my mother I get
my blond hair and blue eyes
my lack of height
my intense desire to avoid confrontation
at all costs, to give in to others
and make the world smooth out right
so people will like me
We share a love of animals
waffles smothered in maple syrup
and after many years, at last,
a joy of reading
but politics and religion
often reside in opposite corners
of our universes
I’ve been told I shouldn’t let it matter
yet how can I not wonder
about my genetic inheritance?
People don’t realize
how much it matters to a child
to know where they came from,
to contemplate what bits of nature might
have shaped the person they’ve become
even if where they came from
wasn’t a very nice place.
It’s the difference between walking gingerly through life
unsure when you are on solid ground
and marching forward with confidence
that you can take whatever the world
decides to throw your way.
@copyright Susan Taylor Brown 2010
All Rights Reserved
My friend once told me and I strongly disagreed that you can’t miss what you never had. This was in regards to my not being able to walk and do things like other people. How do I liken this to you never knowing your father well you don’t know what it is if anything you missed out on. Just like me not being able to do some things never knowing what they are like. I especoally wanted to ride a bike and a horse and roller skate etc but without balance and strength these things are impossible.
Sure you learn to compensate and make excuses but it is never and can never be quite the same. So you CAN MISS what you never had and we are entitled to grieve that loss as such. Once I can do that I can then allow myself to heal. I feel for you xx
-Anne McKenna
Anne, I agree that you CAN miss what you never had, especially when all around you are examples of other people who had what you wished you did.
Yes, I agree about the importance of genetic inheritance — knowing and understanding it in order to fully accept and understand yourself. Learned behavior is one thing — but there are lots of unforeseen traits that are in the genes. As I get older, I see more and more of my father’s personality in me.
It’s funny, isn’t it, how we can see so much more as we get older? I am seeing that in my kids as well. Even though my son hasn’t lived with his father for more than a dozen years I keep seeing more and more of his father’s traits popping up in him.
Another winner, Susan.
I’ve often wondered how much of that desire to please, to avoid confrontation is genetic, and how much is programmed into women. But that’s not your subject.
But you are so right, people don’t realize what matters to children. It’s amazing how much they can forget, since we all were children once.
Thank you. That’s another good topic for discussion, how much are women programmed to avoid confrontation. Too much, I suspect.
I also think that people forget that children are much stronger than they realize and can handle the truth. That being said, I don’t know how much I could have handled as a child.
tanita says 🙂
I have two adopted siblings.
Neither of them came from a very nice place, and we try hard to word things gingerly, and yet not lie.
…but apparently, it’s important just to know.