I can’t write.
I can’t write a crummy first draft. I can’t write an outline or a scene or a character sketch. I simply can’t write. Nothing comes out. I have tried writing junk and ended up writing my own name over and over again. Words don’t get caught in my throat, tripping over themselves in a hurry to arrange themselves on my page. Characters hide in the shadows of broad daylight, taunting me with nightmares instead of daydreams. There are no voices in my head. When there are no voices, there are no words.
I have had down time. I have read. I have worked in the garden and walked the dog and eaten way too much junk food in search of my words.
And yet I can’t write and worse,
I can’t NOT write.
I can’t.
You will. It will come. Force it a little bit on some days but even if it doesn’t come when you force it, it will come…
on the wind of an exhale,
when you least expect it,
when you’d even forgotten
you were breathing.
It will come.
Thanks, Kristy.
I love this line:
“when you’d even forgotten
you were breathing. “
I mean, wow! That is SO it.
It must be the planets or something. I have a first draft, and I’m plowing through rewriting, hating much of it, because I haven’t connected to the story yet, and it’s frustrating.
That and my DSL connection keeps timing out. I don’t know why.
Sigh.
I should feel better soon. House is on. Hugh is yummy.
oh you have a first draft? (She says so nicely while all the time she is green with envy, drool pouring down the side of her face.)
Seriously, congrats on the first draft. That’s the hardest for me. I love the rewriting. It’s this darn create out of nothing that has me going insane.
I’m sorry, Susan! I’ve been there and it stinks. 🙁
HUGS!
Thanks, Shelly. It helps to be able to whine to people who know just what I’m talking about. My husband tries, but it’s not the same as whining to another writer.
Guess what?
That post sounded like WRITING to me.
Yes, T. Me, too. Could have sworn I heard some writing going on in here. {}
Extra love hugs to Susan. Just because.
I was thinking the same thing . . . she so beautifully put her frustration into words!
All I do is stomp around the house and yell at everybody . . .
Ah, thanks. I was hoping trying to blog would unblock me because in addition to not writing I’ve been not blogging.
This may sound like I’m being sarcastic, or silly, but I’m not as it’s worked for me: if you’re having trouble with prose, have you tried experimenting with a poem? Sometimes it doesn’t matter if the words make no sense whatsoever in the first draft. 🙂
No, it doesn’t sound silly at all because that exact advice is how Hugging the Rock came to be. I never planned to write it in verse but I did, just playing around trying to get to know the characters, and then the whole book came out that way.
I think I need to figure out how to get out of my own way – anyone have a crane?
Have you tried opening up a fresh word processing file and set the font size to something outrageous, like 24 or even 36? Then select a really fun font, like Sand or Skia or some zany complex script. in that font, I’d write a letter or a story conecpt or a description or whatever. If a given paragraph wasn’t working, I’d move to the next until I found just one thing that resonated with a deep part of my psyche. If this sounds insane, I apologize. Everyone has different rituals that work for them. 🙂
I’ve never done anything like that before butI think it sounds like a fun idea, and I could use some fun! Thanks. I love hearing everyone’s different ideas. At least I know I am not alone.
I was ON FIRE for June and July–August came and nothing! I took a break–got a tattoo, and tomorrow I’m back at it. If the tattoo isn’t too sore that is.
It happens–the voices will come back.
Maybe you were smarter and actually CALLED it a break where I’ve just wallowing around not writing. And I know the voices do come back, usually, but this in-between time just plain stinks. 🙂
It does stink, I tried to focus about how much I got done during my last stint, I think you’re right, calling it a break really kept me from getting depressed about it. (that and knowing a lot of people in the industry took part of the summer off)I did get back to it–today. I opened my wip, reread a bit and starting moving along–slowly.
You crack me up.
Your book is on its way to me.
Proof that you have written, and will write again.
and your icon cracks me up.
Thanks for ordering my book!
I stink at the waiting for the “will write again” part.
Everyone has given great advice so I won’t try to add any more, just some encouragement. 🙂 I’ve been there too and it always comes back eventually. You may have to force it on some days and not get out more than 10 words, but eventually the voices will start to whisper again and words will flow. Look at that icon of your book, you CAN write and I know you WILL again. 🙂
10 words a day, now that might be a goal I could handle.
Thanks for understanding and sharing with me in my time of pain. Okay..not pain, great big pity party, but still, I love the company.
Welcome to the club.
I’ve said to people, “I’m afraid that I’m all out of words.”
Even though, sometimes, they can truthfully say back, “But you wrote something last week.”
It’s a special kind of hell, I think, to be that kind of stuck. If it helps to hear that it usually gets better or at least deal-with-able: it does. And if it doesn’t, then…sympathy?
If it doesn’t help, that is.
I’ll take both, the help and the sympathy. It is a special kind of hell and one that only other writers really understand. Thanks.
I have no advice but came to commiserate. I spent most of July and all of August feeling that way. Tamarak said it best: That post looks like writing to me. I wager you’ll find a way to channel all that frustration into a painful scenario for your new character. Hang tough!
Thanks for commiserating with me. Love the company. I hope I can channel the frustration to DC but he’s being pretty darn frustrating himself.
Sigh. Me too. I had about a 1 month hiatus where I really could not get into it, and now am having a HORRIBLE time getting restarted. 🙁
Good luck getting unblocked. I know it doesn’t last, for anyone, forever.
Thanks for sharing. Hope you are able to get restarted again yourself without too much more frustration.
Here’s hoping this season passes quickly. And it will pass. Hang in there.
Thank you!
When my book was at the point HTR is, I couldn’t write either, Susan. All that review judgment and waiting for review judgment made it feel like I didn’t have any room to fail. Does that have anything to do with it, do you think?
An excellent, excellent comment. Thanks for that, Cynthia. {}
Thanks, Cindy. I’m sure that has to have something to do with it. That, plus the feeling of having already given my heart and soul to a book and not knowing how to peel away any more pieces of myself for a new story.
Re: block
Tracie gives great advice. {{{}}}’s to you Susan.
Re: block
Thanks, Kim. Man I hate being in this spot though.
Listen to these wise wonderful people, Susan. Give yourself a break. It will come.
Thank you. I flunked the waiting patiently class in obedience school.
Abrazos.
Read lots.
And new things.
Thanks. I am. Trying to, at least.
Ah, Susan, I am sorry you’re going through this. I love what everyone has said so far. And indeed you are writing, for you wrote this post.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I think we all need to stop and gather sometimes. Sometimes for a longer time than others.
Love,
Jo
Thanks Jo. And you’re very right, especially that sometimes we need to be still for longer than we want to. I got that sense today, that I hadn’t spent enough time listening to myself breathe. Am trying to do that now. And trying to not fight doing it.
Lots of good advice above (especially Tamarak’s and Cynthialord’s observations), and lots of empathy. Along with offering more empathy (this is a unique hell for writers), let me suggest WRITING FROM THE INSIDE OUT by Dennis Palumbo. It’s an excellent resource for taking care of the most basic writing tool — the writer’s mind.
Thanks a lot David, especially for the reminder of the Palumbo book. I had it, pulled it off the shelf, and found about 20 Post It notes marking favorite passages. I’m enjoying going through it again and remembering that this is all normal. It might stink like bad cheese, but it’s normal.
Susan,
You can only go UP from here!!!! It’ll come. Don’t force it.
HUGS!
~Della
Thanks, Della!
To everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under the sun.
A time to write, and a time to beat your head on your desk.
A time to read, and a time to wish you could focus.
Be gentle with yourself, certainly, but keep at it. And it will be there. And all will be well.
Try basic exercises, if writing your name over and over frustrates you. Take 5 minutes and brainstorm 7 possible titles. Then take another 10 minutes and figure out a short description for each.
This is mine for the day, gleaned from my interpretation of O at Home’s bit on “dream homes”: Sit comfortably with a cup of tea (or coffee, or mulled cider, or wine — you get the idea), and float into imagination. Here’s the focus for the “meditation”: what is your ideal dream home?
After you spend a very lot of time pondering that and envisioning it, write about it. Your choice of topics: what it looks like, where it’s situated, what you like about it, whether what appeals to you is its appearance, location, or how it makes you feel, what is different from where you are now, why you think it might be an improvement, whether you can update/change your current home to be closer to ideal, whether you simply need a weekend away. Any of these topics, or something else that appeals to you. Write about it for at least 20 minutes without stopping. Without judging. Without fear. Because it’s just for you, and it doesn’t matter.
Thanks, Kelly. I love writing exercises so it’s a good reminder that I should be doing more of them until they bug me enough to be able to work.
That darn judging thing – I can tell myself it is just for me but I have to learn to believe myself when I say it.
I’m so sorry Susan . . . I’m struggling too. I couldn’t even get my nine lines in last night.
I managed two.
Two is good. Two is two more than I have. I’m going to try for two. And if I can’t do that, I’m going to try for 10 words.
Well, I’ll try tomorrow. An event tonight.
So many good suggestions. So many more I could offer. But I know that a time like this just, well, takes time. I’m struggling, myself, and I know why. It doesn’t make it any easier. But I also know, the writing will come again for me. And for you. Hugs.
Yes…it’s that darn time thing and how we are conditioned to try and control it but we simply can’t. Yet at the same time, I beat myself up for not having the discipline to push on through.
Dear Susan,
You have written.
You are writing (even though it doesn’t feel like it)l.
And you will write again.
You have gotten some great advice here. I’d also suggest:
Go to the movies. Especially matinees when most other people are at work. See something fun and silly.
Nap if you’re tired.
Call a writer friend.
Keep reaching out. (Good job for this post!)
Consider reading “Writing Past Dark” by Bonnie Friedman and “The Courage to Write” by Ralph Keyes. Also, “Bird by Bird” (for the 100th time) by Anne Lamott, especially the “Radio Station KFKD” chapter.
Get out in nature, at least for a little bit.
Don’t give up! Don’t give up! Don’t give up! (I know you won’t, but just reminding you…)
{{{HUGS}}}
oh yes….”Radio Station KFKD” I had forgotten that one. It’s a must reread. Thanks for the reminder and the good suggestions and the support. I really appreciate it.
I’m sorry! I hope the voices come back soon! 😉 Give yourself time and space. Bask in the glow of Hugging the Rock. Remember that you are incredibly talented and loved.
Thank you, Brandie!
Re: block
Thanks, Tracie. You know it is always easier to be gentle with friends than with oneself. 🙂 But I’m trying.
Thanks. I know I HAVE written but writing again, it’s always like jumping off the high dive.
Re: Lots of good suggestions
Thanks so much for adding to the list of suggestions. I am trying to read outside my norm (though woman’s magazines – shudder) LOL.
You can do it Susan!
Keep me posted . . . and if you need moral support, just holler.
I’m only an e-mail away.
Writer’s Block
All I can say is that I hope that it passes quickly!