which she is still keeping to herself but I now know where she gets it from. Gotta love those hand-me-downs from mom and dad. I haven’t done much writing worth saving on MTLB, more like writing in circles and a lot of stuff that I hope will prime the pump. But at least I know more about her family situation now (perhaps a little more than I want to because I can’t be easy on her) and I think I am closer to writing about the “horrible thing” that happens that sets the changes in motion. I need to write more on her first, to build up to it and peel away my own layers of self-preservation first but I think once I actually write the poem that has that scene in it, it will unlock a few more things. I find it easier right now to write about Mrs. W and the things she does to try and help M and I think that’s okay. It’s safe right now but I’m still building up the trust levels between me and M. Maybe once she realizes I’m on Mrs. W’s side, she’ll open up to me.
The hard part right now is still fighting my own process. I’ve had a couple of days off from work and I really expected to have gotten a lot done but that’s not been the case. It’s been more reading, more thinking, more plodding with words. And I have to accept that’s the way it is (but I don’t have to like it.)