My month of play and this month of introspection has led to, well, a lot of introspection. I’ve also been working my way through my self-help and motivational books in the library. Rereading old favorites, culling books that no longer speak to me. I feel I’m in a better state of mind, happier in the here and now, than I have been in a long time, perhaps ever. But that doesn’t mean I don’t look back and wish I could undo some things, wish I could fix a lot of things I didn’t do or I did in a way I wish I hadn’t. One message comes through again and again, forgive yourself and move on.
But boy, that forgiving oneself is a hard one, harder for me than learning how to be here now.
Three haiku today.
drawing the hard line
between making my amends
and making things worse
no one can tell me
if my choice is right or wrong
silence shouts at me
easily said but
looking to forgive myself
hard habit to learn
Susan Taylor Brown
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Forgive yourself you must and it is a hard thing I know I am attempting it at the moment, There is one thing I do know and that is we cannot fix what is past. If we could where does it start and where would it end.
We would all virtually have to start our lives over and that would be just a sheer impossibility especially since at the same time we have to contend with what life is throwing at us right NOW.
I know I am having enough trouble keeping up. I decided a while ago I was too tired to go and do it all over again.
Life is hard enough without adding to our burdens. Vote one for living in the NOW.
– Anne McKenna
LOVE the first one.
Making amends, making things worse…but then there should be something about making sure you take care of yourself, and perhaps even making a batch of cookies and giving away all but two, which you save for yourself with a cup of tea while you sit outside and enjoy the fine weather!