Welcome to another installment of Write After Reading: Writing the Life Poetic, a weekly online book club with poetry participation. It alternates between my blog and Laura’s blog. Last week, over at Laura’s blog, we talked about chapter 58 and writing the Zeitgist. Today I picked chapter 63, Taking Shape, Experimenting with Poetic Forms.
This chapter talks briefly about how the constraints of a form can actually improve your poetry or at least lead you down some interesting paths. Though I haven’t yet devoted the time to mastering some of the longer forms I do agree that having that structure often helps me focus my poetic attention in much the same way that we found when we did the Mad Libs.
Here’s an online source with easy explanations of the forms of verse – Poetry Handbook.
I opted to go for haiku since I’m writing this late at night after a crazy-making day but I hope to come back tomorrow and try some other forms as well.
sleeping dog whimpers
chases squirrel shadows, barks
hunter triumphant
one week, no flour, sugar
bad habits need undoing
how will I survive?
ellie wrote
What I love about hiaku is how complete a picture you can make in so few words. I can see the dog sleeping, barking, even twitching.
And your second haiku seems as if you are watching me. No matter how carefully I make my grocery list, I always come home without something.
Re: ellie wrote
Thanks, ellie. I know haiku are supposed to be about nature and with a “twist” at the the end but I didn’t quite have the energy last night. 🙂
The no flour, no sugar is supposed to be my diet for the next week. I can’t imagine how I am going to survive it. Ugh!
Re: ellie wrote
Such a difference between forgetting something from the store (my first guess) and being denied flour and sugar – for a week! Good luck to you. I hope doing without works its magic for you.
ellie
Re: ellie wrote
Thanks ellie. Lifestyle changes are hard for me but this is do or die.
ellie again
Since most/all of you all write children’s poetry, I decided to try to join in. I chose triolet as I thought the repetition might work for a lullaby.
Nighttime Triolet
When you fall asleep at night,
the stars wink in the sky
bidding goodnight, to you safe and tight,
when you fall asleep at night.
Slumber softly by moonlight.
No fears. No need to cry.
When you fall asleep at night,
the stars wink in the sky.
Re: ellie again
Yay, ellie! I don’t know why children’s poems haven’t been spilling out lately for me. They’re what I like to write best! But grownup poems come out instead.
Beautiful triolet. It’s so comforting!
The meter of line 3 throws me a little–feels like a meter picked up from a different poem or something. Maybe it’s just me! I’ve only read/written a few triolets, and I think all were iambic pentameter. So take my comment with a grain of salt.
My favorite lines are 5-6.
Do you know the Billy Joel song, “Lullaby”? It’s not really similar to this, but yours made me think of it. One of my fav songs of his.
Re: ellie again
Thanks so much for the link to the lullaby. It reminded me of singing to my kids when they were little. Now they both sing better than I do.
Thank you for mentioning the meter in line three. Here is a possible fix:
bidding you sleep safe and tight
But that leaves me repeating sleep a lot, and tight isn’t my favorite rhyme here so I am still not happy.
BTW, you are teaching me again. I did not realize that traditionally triolets are written in iambic tetrameter. Well, I completely missed there. Rough drafts, right? I will leave it for now.
ellie
Re: ellie again
Well, that’s just a common form of it. They definitely don’t *have* to be in iambic pentameter, so don’t feel restricted by that! Taking forms and making them your own is fabulous. You should absolutely feel free to do that:>)
I do think that new line 3 flows more smoothly…it’s a struggle to not repeat some words too much, isn’t it! I run into that all the time. Especially if I’m writing for young kids. I don’t want to use obscure words, but I don’t want to call something the same thing 5 times in a poem!
Re: ellie again
Thanks Laura, for another mini poetry lesson! Love learning all these new poetry things.
Re: ellie again
Lovely, ellie. Simply lovely.
I never seem to write individual children’s poems. I think I have too much junk to work through as an adult. 😉
I had to go look up a Triolet so I could understand the form as I haven’t done much outside of free verse.
I really like lines 2/3 and 5/6
Re: ellie again
Ellie, I love this. So simple and yet so full of love and security. I’ve never tried writing a triolet, but I think I like this form. I might play with it.
Re: ellie again
Thank you so much, Susan and Dori. It really helps to know what you like. I may revisit this one someday.
And if either of you try a triolet, don’t copy my form as I got it a little wrong. See Laura’s helpful comments above. Learning all the time. 🙂
ellie
I LOVE poetic forms. I totally agree that using a form often makes me think more creatively, which seems like an oxymoron. But I think it’s true for many/most poets.
Those blind Cambodian women…wow.
OK, I am super short on time today, so I will likely do a favorite form of mine, an acrostic. Back shortly to share.
And knowing that the form makes me think more creatively should be reason enough to do so more often, like exercise. Alas, I don’t. 🙂
And yeah, those blind Cambodian women (a poem in the book for those reading along) rather blew me away.
Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
My Nonlinear Memory
Let the water spread
In a soft rush across the page,
Followed by washes of color, one for
Each day, each year, each decade.
Time becomes background,
Individual
Memories
Etched into it with India ink.
–Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved
Most people see time as linear, but my memory is so poor. I often can’t remember what happened, let alone when it happened. So I compared my life to a watercolor painting with layers of color building up, mixing together, becoming indiscernable from each other. It all creates a whole, but I can only remember a limited number of specific events. That didn’t all come through in the poem, I know–just sharing what the initial thought was. :>)
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Laura, I love it when you acrostics! For some reason when I first hear the word acrostic I always go back to those ones we did in grammar school with our names. Fun but not very exciting. But yours always remind me that they can be so much more.
I love the idea that a life can be like a painting with so many layers.
This is a great image:
Followed by washes of color, one for
Each day, each year, each decade.
And I love the idea that the memories are etched with India ink which is more permanent than watercolors.
I like this one a lot!
(note to self – play with acrostics)
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Thank you, Susan:>) I love watercolors with strong black line art on them. Seeing all your beautiful art lately has me thinking in art terms, I think!
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
I hope you get the time some day to play with art more because I think you’ll really enjoy yourself. And I love the blending of art and words.
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Wow. This is beautiful. I think of boring acrostics, like Susan, when I hear that word, too. But this is definitely not that old grammar-school thing. Love the “soft rush across the page.”
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Thanks, Dori! I love acrostics. I wanted to do a phrase acrostic here, but didn’t have time to research a phrase and work from there. There are so many fun ways to do acrostics, regular, double, phrase, rhyming…They’re one of my favorite forms!
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Phrase acrostic? ooh, do you have any examples of those posted? That sounds like a great idea. I think I’m going to come back and try an acrostic.
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Here’s one, Susan. They are such a fun thing to try, and since you LOVE quotations, might be perfect for you!
http://laurasalas.livejournal.com/96838.html
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Wonderful phrase acrostic, Laura. Thank you for pointing me to it.
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
I just love your poem. I think an acrostic is simply amazing (as yours is here) when the poem stands on its own and then you realize the first letters spell a word down.
My mind is full of Susan’s beautiful 15 WOL artwork and your poem seems to fit her vision, especially your last four lines, which are my favorites.
I love how you’ve taken your poor memory and turned it into something stunningly beautiful by painting with words.
ellie
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Thanks so much, ellie! This is a first draft, but I did like the basic gist of it. Needs more work, but…that’s life:>)
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
Thanks for the kind words, ellie
Susan, I love your haiku. Those shadow squirrels are my favorite!
And, oh boy, are you giving up flour and sugar this week? Hard to make huge dietary changes!
Laura, yes. No flour. No sugar. Doctor’s orders. I’m going to be a raving brat by the end of the week. Will fill you more when we chat later.
Have I ever mentioned my strong dislike of most fruits and veggies? Bah humbug.
Love your acrostic, Laura! And you have my sympathy, Susan. It’s hard to make drastic changes to your diet. You don’t want to feel deprived, though. I have gluten-free recipe suggestions if you need them.
Tabatha
Tabatha,
I’d love any and all suggestions! Thank you. You can email me at:
susantaylorbrown AT gmail DOT com
We just put together the shopping list for hubby. Ugh. So many changes.
Thanks, Tabatha!
I missed you all last week. I read, but just didn’t have time to write. Spent a wonderful weekend with a bunch of children’s poets soaking up Rebecca Kai Dotlich’s poetic wisdom. What a lovely lady she is.
On your haiku. Such anguished images, Susan. I can’t decide if I feel worse for the whimpering dog, the squirrel, or you and your new diet!
I don’t often write in forms, but the pantoum is one that I enjoy. My pantoums don’t always stay pantoums. They are generally a vehicle, as others have said, for the images the form forces to surface.
So here is my pantoum for this week. I’m still playing with a possible collection and developing voices. Setting is 18th century Russia. Voice is the younger brother. I am interested to see if my intent comes through.
Thomas — Letter to Papa
I will endeavor to bring you joy.
I will perfect myself in all things.
I have chosen a better path than Jonas.
He’ll be a slow-witted musketeer.
I will perfect myself in all things.
I shall not consider myself wiser than others,
though I am not slow-witted and will not be a musketeer.
I strive to be at peace with all men, even Jonas.
I shall not consider myself wiser than others,
as you instruct, I will not be open-mouthed.
I strive to be at peace with all men.
I practice the viola da gamba diligently.
As you instruct, I will not be open-mouthed.
I shall play you a masterpiece when you return.
Practice the viola da gamba diligently.
Until then, Papa, I pray Father Almight preserve you.
I shall play you a masterpiece when you return.
I have chosen a better path than Jonas.
Until then, Papa, I pray Father Almighty preserve you.
I will endeavor to bring you joy.
Sorry. A couple of typos. Next to last stanza should say “I practice” and “Father Almighty.”
Wow, Dori! This is great! I haven’t attempted a
pantoum yet. It’s not that they intimidate me (much) but it takes that thinking space I don’t seem to get to often.
My favorite lines are:
He’ll be a slow-witted musketeer.
As you instruct, I will not be open-mouthed.
And this stanza:
I will perfect myself in all things.
I shall not consider myself wiser than others,
though I am not slow-witted and will not be a musketeer.
I strive to be at peace with all men, even Jonas.
PS – sooo jealous of your poetry gathering. It sounds great!
I had to look up pantoum to fully appreciate the effort that went into your complicated and moving poem. I am rooting for the second son, hoping he impresses his father and either wins his love, or at least his respect. I can see how hard he is trying from your beautiful words.
ellie
Oh, Dori–you got to go to Rebecca’s Highlights workshop? She is wonderful–I would love to do this someday!
Gorgeous, earnest pantoum. I think the repetition works well as this son tries to convince his father that he (younger bro) can make up for the shortcomings of the older one. I know less than nothing about 18th-century Russian history. This is what I glean from the poem itself–since you’re wondering how it strikes us.
The younger son has been left behind by the father–is the father taking the older son somewhere? To something military? (musketeer and peace gave me the unspoken sense that war/violence lurked nearby) I’m not sure whether the father is disappointed in or admires the older son. Either way, the younger son is determined to impress his father with his music. Heartfelt and beautiful! Thanks for sharing this with us!
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
And you wrote it in just ten minutes…amazing janet
I enjoy the challenge of writing a “form” poem. When I finally get one done “right,” (at least, right in my mind) it is such a feeling of accomplishment. There are so many different forms, though! Susan, thank you for posting that Poetry handbook link!
Here is one I already had written/
(my definition of aubade is : a poem greeting the dawn, since it wasn’t listed in the poetry handbook.)
END OF SUMMER (aubade)
Alas, alas,
the night does pass.
Alas, alack
oh dark, come back.
Don’t let that ray
turn into day.
Twill break my heart
‘cause school will start.
Cindyb
Well, I posted late, and then even later I got to thinking, maybe this isn’t so much a “form,” as there are no rules about lines and rhyme scheme.
Cindyb
No worries!
First, you weren’t late! It takes time to read the chapter and respond, and we don’t expect everybody to get to that on Wednesdays.
And second, I don’t know whether this is a poetic form, technically, or not. But it’s definitely a kind of poem, and it’s just fine for what we’re talking about:>)
We’re here to have fun–I hate for any of us to judge ourselves harshly about how closely we follow the exercises or how long it takes us to post, or whatever. As long as we’re talking poetry, sharing stuff, throwing things out there–I’m thrilled!
Re: No worries!
What Laura said! And sometimes poets make up their own form. I just finished reading Helen Frost’s book HIDDEN and she invented a form of free verse just for the book where the last word of the long lines were another message. It was an interesting idea though I wish I had known to look for it while I was reading.
I just looked it up. Interesting.
“An aubade is a morning love song (as opposed to a serenade, which is in the evening) or a song or poem about lovers separating at dawn.” (Wikipedia)
Love the poem, Cindy. It has just the right amount of fun + dread to make you go back and reread it again.
Re: No worries!
I meant late as in past my bedtime- so I wasn’t thinking clear. 🙂
Cb
Haha! Love this formal tone and then that school starting is what’s being dreaded. Fun!
Okay, here’s a sonnet:
THE GREAT ESCAPE
“I see you’re trapped inside a cage,” said cat.
“Not free to roam about the house like me.”
And thus he taunted guinea pig until
No joy was left in life that pig could see.
Pig dreamed of all the joys that would abound
If only he’d escape his prison cell.
Obsessed, attempts were made until he found
One day a latch unhooked and out he fell.
His squeals of joy brought cat upon the scene.
Pig thought they’d frolic gaily through the house.
Alas, the cat’s intentions were quite mean,
For he saw pig as one big tasty mouse.
That guinea pig made haste to jump back in.
Cat won’t convince him to come out again.
Cindy Breedlove, all rights reserved
Oh, I got a good laugh at this! Especially the “alas” line. Poor guinea pig. They are the cutest things ever. And this manipulative cat–great voice! I’m so glad guinea pig learns his lesson with no permanent harm:>)
Kudos on the sonnet! This is a hard form for me. A few years ago, 6 other writers and I wrote a crown sonnet–7 connected sonnets with the last line of one becoming the first line of the next. Whew. It was tough.
http://blaine.org/sevenimpossiblethings/?p=1235
That’s a link with the crown sonnet at the end, after a lengthy interview with the 7 of us about the process. It was a real learning experience for me. Kind of a ya prom/end of school year sort of thing. Feel free NOT to go read it. It’s long and we’re all swamped. Just throwing it out there if you’re a sonnet lover:>)
Cindy,
This is so much fun! Another form I have yet to try.
I love the last two lines a lot!
I really see pictures in this poem…or maybe it’s a picture book???? 🙂
Thanks for joining in.
Re: Laura’s Acrostic – My Nonlinear Memory
I write poetry *fast*. That’s a good thing and a bad thing, believe me. But I do like it for first drafts, especially. It means I might have 20 terrible first drafts for every 1 with a kernel of hope, though:>)
Yes. I’m glad you’re writing what makes you happy. Very glad.
Hi Susan,
I just figured out how to get to the Networked Bogs I signed up for. Yay! I’m very unorganized and my office is right near the front door. Anyone can see my messy office. When I clean it, like you said, it doesn’t stay that way for long. That’s funny that you like to have everything out where you can touch it. I guess you don’t forget about them if they’re not stuck in a drawer and out of sight, so that kind of makes sense. Nice to meet you. Hope you have a great 4th of July.